Thanks to a sharp-eyed dealer for spotting a wonderful listing on eBay, from a literary genius called Brillo with 98.8 per cent positive feedback. It read:

"BRIBO Laptop (270,000 available) with instruction sheet.

"Processor Type: Labour election process.
Primary Drive: To be re-elected.
Features: None.

"Here we have a spanking new, gleaming Bribo laptop, complete with instruction sheet showing you where to place your X when the time comes," the listing continued.

"The Government has declared that it will soon issue 270,000 of these Bribos to their core voters so that they may keep up with their children's school progress on the internet, rather than get up off their sofas and walk down to the parent-teacher meetings and ask. In order to exchange them for tax-free CASH, (to allow access to the things that REALLY matter), the inevitable result will be thousands of Bribos listed on eBay shortly after issue. So I am taking this opportunity to list mine now, before the rush."

And so it goes on in gloriously similar vein...

"With the Bribo's browser set to the Labour party home page, this machine is ready to go straight from the box. Full filters and software included to protect the user from harmful online experiences, including landing on any page that we consider to be contrary to Labour party targets and anything that doesn't toe the party line. Any deviation of use from the true purpose of the Bribo will be met with an "off-message"."

This spoof follows on from the news that Grey Gordon is using taxpayers' cash to give away more than a quarter of a million laptops, and broadband connections, to people who may very well just sell them and spend the proceeds on booze and fags.

Of course, it's good to help deprived kids become computer-literate, but they already have the chance to use PCs if they bother to go to school. So surely a far better plan would have been to give the laptops to schools, which would then loan them to kids who showed a genuine interest in using them for something other than playing shoot-em-up games, in much the same way that schools already lend musical instruments to kids from low-income families who show a real interest in learning to play.

Perhaps Retra, which sent out a letter last year offering members the chance to supply these free laptops for an 8 per cent commission, would like to set the record straight on whether the school loan idea was ever considered, and if so, why it was rejected?

Oh, and at the same time, perhaps we could be told how those who are given "Bribos" and use them rather than sell them will be helped to avoid virus problems.

Meanwhile, do try to get to the northbound Northern Line platform at Euston Underground station in London to catch the large Christmas advert from Dixons while it is still there. But if you miss it, don't worry, I have a picture for next week's blog.

Barry Fox